Notes on Traveling Sober and Being “Sober Curious”

updated January 2024

I never saw my extended drinking hiatus coming. Or ever imagined that I would take a trip where I consumed no alcohol (I mean who does that?!). But 2020 was a strange year to say the least, and it lead to my traveling sober in 2021, a first for me since I came of drinking age.

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time you’re probably aware that I quit my job to travel full time in 2020. I wanted an adventure to shake things up, a challenge, a chance to learn and see the world with lots of fun along the way. I hoped that I would be changed for the better by my experience abroad. But then the pandemic hit and I was forced to stop moving–the opposite of what I hoped my year would look like.

Travel is about taking a journey, about curiosity and transformation. I could no longer take a journey in the traditional sense of the word, but I did find opportunities for quieter, inner journeys in unexpected places closer to home. Despite everything, 2020 was a great year for me, somehow satisfying so many desires I thought only travel could fill.

About a year ago I listened to a podcast that interviewed the author (Ruby Warrington) of a book called Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol. I was vaguely intrigued and decided to save the book to maybe read one day.

It was just a vague interest, but months later, after a seemingly endless lockdown filled with seemingly endless amounts of booze, I thought of the book. I knew I wanted to cut back on my drinking, but besides a stint in college where I didn’t drink for 6 weeks to try to lose weight before spring break (lol), I’d never given up drinking. I knew it would be hard and that I’d need some extra motivation. I thought about Sober Curious and clicked purchase.

My intention was to stop drinking for a few weeks or maybe a month tops. I never planned on going more than 8 months without alcohol, but that’s what happened. Then I got vaccinated and decided to travel after almost a year at home. I was going to a Caribbean island, where sunset cocktails instantly come to mind. Was I going to drink?

The answer surprised even me. I didn’t want to drink on my vacation. My beach vacation. My solo beach vacation where having a drink in hand would be comforting and help numb the anxiety that can crop up when you’re alone in a foreign country. My vacation in paradise after a year of living through a pandemic. Wouldn’t a drink amplify the whole situation and make it better?

My journey being “sober curious” thus far had been really eye opening and positive for me in so many ways, and I wasn’t ready for it to end. I wanted to see what it would feel like to push myself, to travel solo AND sober (plus by that point, my craving for alcohol was almost nonexistent).

I had a wonderful time traveling solo in Turks and Caicos and didn’t miss drinking at all. The rewards of solo travel are plenty, but nothing compares to the intimacy and self discovery that happens on a solo trip. You are forced to think only about yourself for once, never having to consider another person (when else do women get to think this way in our society?). What you learn about yourself in a situation like that is priceless.

The journey I went on after I stopped drinking felt similar in a way to solo travel–the intimacy and self discovery were there because the haze of alcohol wasn’t. I found myself questioning the status quo, finally seeing through the marketing influence of alcohol that is EVERYWHERE. I was treating my body well, challenging myself to be present, to feel all my feelings, to change.

I think anyone who is curious about what their life could be like without alcohol would benefit from this book. One of my favorite things about it is its approachability and vocabulary. Being “sober curious” is the perfect, nonthreatening term. It doesn’t mean you have to stop drinking forever (I spent a week drinking again in March) or that you even have a drinking problem to begin with (I’ve never felt that way). It just means you’re curious and want to try something new.

If you’re feeling stuck after being home for so long, embarking upon a drinking hiatus would be a great challenge to switch things up in a positive way, to give you that exciting feeling of being on a journey, a chance to learn something new about yourself. Taking a depressant and known toxin out of your life will at the very least help enhance your mood and improve your sleep. But the deeper benefits are up to you to discover.

I’ve already gone through so many “sober firsts” at this point in my journey–lonely nights at home that I used to pair with a glass of wine, social nights with friends and family where I would drink because it was there, holidays that used to feel enhanced by booze, traveling, dating, heartbreak. Going through all this without the crutch of alcohol has given me so much confidence and has enabled me to see things clearly.

It also felt great to take back some control over a period of time where it seemed like everything was out of control. And now, months later, not drinking has become easy. I’ve saved so much money (that I can put into my love of traveling), and I’ve completely avoided hungover mornings/days (do not miss those). But I’ve still had so much fun and feel like I haven’t lost out on anything. I used to think, “Oh I need a drink to do X,Y, or Z.” It’s been so freeing to learn that’s not true.

I mentioned that not drinking has become easy, and I really mean that. The craving just isn’t there anymore after having enough experience being sober in different situations. But I think a large part of it is the sugar craving is gone. One of the best tips in the book was to make sure you don’t cut out sugar at the same time you cut out alcohol because a lot of our craving for alcohol is actually just a craving for sugar.

At the beginning of my journey I took that advice and found that I could eat a candy or drink a ginger beer when I felt the urge to have alcohol. And it helped every time, so I would not advise starting a diet at the same time you are cutting back on drinking.

I also found it really helpful to substitute non alcoholic drinks in place of booze in certain circumstances. For example, I mentioned I always loved having a glass of wine alone just to help me relax while I was watching a movie. It was just something to do if I was bored at home.

So at the beginning, I bought non alcoholic wine to pair with dinner on those nights. Or when I was in Turks and Caicos, I ordered a non alcoholic piña colada. Or when I was with friends in a social setting, I had non alcoholic beer or Coca Cola. It’s kind of just giving your hands something to do in certain situations where you might be triggered to drink. And then over time it gets easier and easier.

So yea I just wanted to share this on the blog because it turned into one of the biggest adventures I’ve had this past year. It’s felt really transformative the way good travel does. If this is something you’ve been contemplating yourself, I can’t recommend it enough! I really loved Ruby’s books so I want to share the links below, as well as one of my favorite non alcoholic drinks companies.

Sober Curious <– this book goes over the author’s journey with alcohol while sharing all the benefits of not drinking. It’s more nuanced and fresh than you would expect. Curiosity leads the way, not judgement.

Sober Curious Reset <– a journal to pair with the book above. I’ve found it helpful to dive deeper into my beliefs about alcohol and its effect on my life.

Gruvi <– the best non alcoholic drinks I’ve tried so far, and they’re now selling in the Chicago area! I’ve tried and loved the Dry Secco (perfect to substitute for champagne) and the Sour Weisse (for when you want a beer in hand). I can’t wait to try the Lager.

2024 Update:

I wrote this original post in 2021 (and decided to leave all the writing unchanged) with the pandemic and its effects still fully a part of life. Back then, those circumstances heavily influenced my decision to stop drinking. I’m so glad I did, and I love having this post to look back on about that experience. It was really fitting to call it a journey of sorts. I quit for 8 months, but what I learned about my relationship to alcohol during that time has lingered. It’s now 2024, and I felt inspired to do a drinking hiatus again–for other reasons. I thought I’d jump in here to talk about it and share other brands and information that’s been helpful for me this time around.

I took another break now because I wanted a healthy start to the year. Every January, I try to do Yoga with Adriene’s 30 Day Challenge on YouTube. I wanted to feel even better by pairing that with some time off alcohol. I learned how good not drinking feels back in 2020 and 2021 when I stopped drinking for so long, and I wanted to feel that way again. I really did sleep better and feel wayyyy happier when I cut out alcohol for an extended period. (If you struggle with sleep or mood I’d be curious what a little sober journey would reveal.) I haven’t even been drinking that much since my sober curious experiment (it helped me be way more thoughtful about my drinking habits), but I’ve noticed even just a drink or two here or there is detrimental.

To help motivate me this time, I listened to an episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast called What Alcohol Does To Your Body, Brain, & Health. Just reminding myself how much of a poison alcohol is was helpful, because it’s easy to forget that the way it’s marketed and consumed in our country. After just a few minutes hearing about alcohol’s effects on the body, it was enough for me to extend my month off drinking to longer than just January.

I also found another non-alcoholic drink that I really like! It is not easy to make these drinks taste anything like real alcohol, so when a company gets it right, it’s worth a shout out. I have not found many brands doing it well (still stand by Gruvi–I need to order from them again). I cannot find any convincing wine alternative. They all taste like grape juice 🙁 I really think I could stop drinking forever if I didn’t enjoy the taste of wine so much. So if you have any recs please let me know!

Ritual Zero Proof Tequila Alternative <– That being said, I also LOVE a margarita, but I found a non-alcoholic tequila substitute that I like. It actually has a similar taste profile/the slight burn of a real cocktail. I mixed this with fresh lime juice and agave, and it really does the job!

Those are all the updates I wanted to share, but if I had to recommend one thing it would still be Ruby’s book “Sober Curious.” (She also has a podcast if you want to dive in that way.) Thank you so much for reading and please reach out if you want to start a conversation about anything I mentioned here! I’d love that 🙂